The Radical Power of Forgiveness: Learning to Forgive and Forget

On May 13th, 1981, a Turkish assassin named Mehmet Ali Adja attempted to start a holy war by shooting Pope John Paul II four times in St. Peter's Square. The Pope survived, spending 22 days in the hospital recovering from critical wounds. His first public statement? "I urge you to pray for my brother, Ali Adja, whom I have sincerely forgiven."

Two years later, something remarkable happened. Pope John Paul II visited his would-be assassin in prison. They sat face to face in a private room, and the Pope held the hand of the man who had held the gun—whispering words of forgiveness. The photographs from that meeting capture two shocked faces: a pope who had been shot and an assassin who had been forgiven. Both seemed to be asking the same question: Why?

After serving 19 years, Ali Adja was pardoned at the Pope's request. In 2014, he returned to the Vatican to lay roses on the tomb of Pope John Paul II. Two years later, he expressed his desire to convert to Catholicism and follow Jesus. The bullets of hate had been dispelled by forgiveness, transforming a man who wanted to incite war into someone seeking Christ.

This story illustrates a profound truth: forgiveness is radical and powerful.

The Challenge of Forgiving and Forgetting

We've all heard the phrase "forgive and forget," but it seems nearly impossible. How can we erase painful memories from our minds? Every experience we've ever had is stored like video files in our memory banks. Traumatic events, deep wounds, painful betrayals—they're all there, often locked away in the basement of our souls.

The question isn't whether these memories exist, but what we do with them.

Sometimes painful memories serve good purposes. They protect us from being hurt again, like the child who learns not to touch a hot stove. They bring about justice and honor victims of injustice, as seen in Holocaust memorials or museums documenting slavery's horrors.

But other times, painful memories turn against us. They torture us at night, fill us with guilt and regret, and twist us into people we don't want to be—fearful, vindictive, suspicious, unable to trust or love freely. Sometimes we even hurt others because of our unhealed wounds.

How God Forgives and Forgets

Christians have linked forgiving and forgetting for two thousand years because that's how God forgives. Jeremiah 31:34 contains this stunning promise: "For I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more."

When God forgives, He forgets. He separates us from our sins "as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12). He hurls our sins "to the depths of the sea" (Micah 7:19). He puts them behind His back, covers them up, and no longer deals with us on the basis of what we've done wrong.

As Dutch Holocaust survivor Corrie Ten Boom wisely observed: "God throws our sins into the depths of the sea and posts a sign saying, 'No fishing allowed.'"

Practicing Non-Remembrance

Since we can't literally delete memories from our minds, what does it mean to forgive and forget? The key is practicing what we might call "non-remembrance."

Think of your mind like a computer. The painful event is buried in the hard drive. After doing the work of forgiveness—releasing the person and the hurt to God, praying for their good—we choose not to repeatedly open that file. It's still there, but we're not constantly clicking on "Painful Memories from 2014," then "April 15th," reading it over and over, printing it off, and posting it on the refrigerator.

The file is marked "forgiven." We've given the matter to God. Now we practice not intentionally opening it.

The secret to non-remembrance is focus. Trying not to think about something is the worst strategy. It's like being told not to think about pink elephants—suddenly they're everywhere, dressed up and dancing in your mind.

Instead, after working through forgiveness, we focus on something more compelling, more wonderful, more attractive. We push painful memories to the margins by filling the center with truth.

What Should We Remember Instead?

Remember Who You Are

If you follow Jesus, you've been given a new nature and identity. You're more than someone who has suffered wrongs. Your past doesn't define you. What was done to you doesn't define you.

What is most true about you is that you're deeply loved by your Heavenly Father. You have infinite value, dignity, and worth as one who bears God's image and for whom Christ died. You've been made spiritually alive. Christ dwells in you and delights in you. Your life is hidden with Christ in God.

You're not "just an addict" or "just damaged goods." You're the redeemed of the Lord, His beloved, the apple of His eye, chosen and dearly loved.

Consider this challenge: spend 15 minutes a day for one month focusing on the love of God for you. Not that you love God, but that God loves you. Neuroscience suggests this will literally change the structure of your brain.

Remember What God Has Done

In both Jewish and Christian tradition, remembering what God has done is central. Forgetfulness is seen as one of the great spiritual problems. Psalm 103:2 urges: "Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits."

Count your blessings, especially when you're in pain. This is why God instituted memorials like the Passover meal and communion—to engage our senses and help us remember His mighty acts.

When we take communion, we recall that Christ died for our sins. We picture Jesus on the cross, recognizing that He was pierced for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities. The punishment that brought us peace was laid upon Him. By His wounds we are healed.

At the communion table, we see something else too: God offers the same forgiveness to the person who hurt us. When we receive communion, we remember that Christ lives in us, and His love and forgiveness flows through us to others.

Remember Your Future



As followers of Jesus, we will be resurrected with bodies like His, reigning with Him in a new heaven and new earth. From that day forward, we likely won't remember the hurts done to us or that we caused. Heaven's joys won't be tainted by painful memories. No more sadness, sorrow, grief, or crying. Justice will be fully experienced, and every injustice paid.

For now, we can intentionally choose to remember something else, following Paul's wisdom: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" (Philippians 4:8).

Forgiveness is radical and powerful. It transforms assassins into seekers of Christ. It frees us to become the people God intended us to be. And it demonstrates the reality of God's kingdom breaking into our world.

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